Visiting Helsinki brings up a lot of feelings. Both good and bad. Mostly bad though.
I walk past grocery stores where I used to buy the food I never ate, the cafeterias where I would sit and count calories for hours and over all the places where I would be when I felt the most down.
It’s hard to create new memories at these places when the bad ones aren’t that far away yet.
Why I still like being here is because I miss my family and friends a lot. And for some reason I don’t associate them with my bad times. Luckily I don’t!
People often ask me why I think it’s easier to heal in Stockholm. The answer is pretty simple - I don’t have to be reminded of the things that go hand in hand with my hardest times, that definitely were in Helsinki. This probably sounds like I’m running away from a problem, which I maybe am. But sometimes you need to heal a bit before you jump right out there.