As I'm writing this post my dog Elton is laying in my lap, snoring as usually. Today is my first day completely without any depression medication, so I felt inspired to write this.
I have a job that allows me to be at home during the days and most often my meetings/events aren't until after 4PM. Many would say this is the dream schedule, which it might be. But as I've hinted before, I hate being alone. So when I wake up and my husband has gone to work already, it doesn't always feel that great to start the day by myself. Before we got Elton I could wake up in panic over being alone. I'm a very social person and I need interaction with other people, a lot.
When we moved to Stockholm I was depressed and I was struggling a lot with eating. So my days where mostly filled with counting calories and trying to keep myself busy. I also didn't have my friends and family here, so I wasn't used to being without them, which was hard. And it felt like the hours couldn't go any slower. Now my days are the opposite. It feels like the time's just running away.
What changed is that 1. I got a therapy dog 2. I got HEALTHY 3. I started working with something I fully completely love 4. I stopped isolating myself.
The thing is that when you're depressed and your schedule already if filled with self hatred, you don't have the time, will or energy to meet anyone. Getting Elton was the first step to a happier me, because I couldn't choose to isolate myself anymore since I constantly had a little furry friend following me around. After while, when I got out of the deepest depression and illness, I started hanging out with friends and family again. And I started blogging. Being able to be completely honest and open in a diary-like blog has helped me so incredibly much. And the messages I get from my readers mean the world to me. To feel that there are so so many of us going through the same things helps me stay strong and most of all, helps me want to be in a place where I can help others. Which means a healthy place.
Now I'm excited to start my first day without medication - it feels like a big win already! Have a great day loves. <3