Yay, it's time for the second "christmas calendar post" as I like to call it. I figured I'm gonna write these posts in the order after how many people have requested the subject, and this was the second most wanted blog post after my anorexia story. So here we go!
What was it like to grow up as a public person? I think there are so many both good and bad things that come with people knowing who you are, but I haven't really figured out wether it's more good or bad stuff yet haha. I was only 11-years-old when I made my TV debut in Talent and after that people started recognizing me and especially my name. When I was 11 I didn't really understand the weight of being a public figure and I didn't understand the concept of fame. I got happy when people wanted to take pictures or get an autograph, but for me it wasn't much more than that.
I was very naive growing up and I was incredibly social (way more than I'm nowadays). I loved meeting new people and getting new friends. Pretty soon I started noticing that some people wanted to be my friend for reasons that didn't feel so genuine. I was only a kid back then, and remember, very naive and friendly in all ways, so I couldn't associate it with me being the center of attention. Therefor I wasn't really able to protect myself from "fake friends" or in the beginning even realizing who these people were, that only wanted to hang out with me because "I was famous" in their minds.
I think it's for the reasons above I started isolating myself sometimes after winning the Voice Kids and getting my record deal. I didn't have much spare-time since I was working a lot, but when I had time to spend with friends I got more and more selective and careful in a lot of ways. Which I now find a bit sad, because I've completely lost the naive part of me that wants to get to know everybody and meet new people everyday. I'm not saying it's good to be naive, but I simply miss my carefree side.
Apart from all this, and what's probably been the main thing for me when it comes to growing up as a public person, is that I kind of skipped being a teenager. I didn't have the time or possibility to be a normal teenager. And when you're 14 and signed to a big label, you have a responsibility that means you can't do all that normal teenager stuff. And even if you're at some friend's home party there's always someone who doesn't know you but has seen you on TV and then goes around with a camera in your face all night. So these type of things are definitely something I had to keep in mind while growing up, but it wasn't something that bothered me that much (only sometimes).
Now that I'm 19 (and still growing up!!) I don't regret a minute of the path I chose for myself while growing up, but at the same time it's something that I don't want for my child. There has been times when I've been thinking about how my life would have turned out and who I would be if I hadn't grow up to be a public person. I have no idea who that person would be! But I do know that it puts a lot of pressure and stress on a teenager that is going through the exact same emotions and stuff as all other teenagers, to have a bunch of eyes watching your every move all the time.
I'm actually at this point in my life where I'm a bit stressed out because I have no idea what I'm going to do next. It feels like I've done everything and nothing. It feels like I'm 50 but a kid at the same time. But I do have a feeling I might be doing something new a lot sooner than you might think.