I feel like this is a subject I haven't really wanted to get into, but I think it's important to do so and therefor I'm writing this post today. Somehow young mothers need to prove themselves in our society and prove that they are fit to be mothers and ready to be good moms. Also this "mom shaming" phenomena isn't only about young mothers, it's about all mothers and I feel that every question about being pregnant and becoming a mom only has bad answers in the public's eye.
So many people ask me if I will continue working with my social media when the baby is here. If I answer yes, people say "but you should focus 100% on your baby the first months, not work." and "it's not good for a baby to grow up as a public person". Then if I say I'm probably going to take some time off to only be with my baby, the answer is "so you're only going to be a stay-at-home mom?" or "that's so old school, aren't you a feminist?". WHAT. And this is not only about when the baby actually is here but I'm already getting jumped on with how I'm handling my pregnancy and wether I do enough "preggy stuff" or not. I mean, I'm about 4 months pregnant and this is already a thing so I have no idea how tiring and exhausting this mom shaming will be when the baby is actually here.
It also makes me sad to see how people react on me having a C-section instead of giving birth naturally. For me that doesn't matter in any world. I'm just more than lucky that I'm even able to carry a child and become a mother with the body I have. Then if my body isn't strong enough to push out a baby the natural way really is something I couldn't care less about. I'm just beyond happy that I'm blessed with this pregnancy.
I've had a lot of contact with other young mothers, bloggers with babies and mothers overall and they all say the same thing: it's a constant pressure of having to prove that they're being good moms. And now a very important thing that I'm aware of is that a lot of this pressure falls off me since I'm married. I see it in my everyday life as a young, pregnant woman. If I go to checks etc alone the vibe is totally different until I mention being married or something like that. They kind of remove me from the "young & pregnant" box to the "married & pregnant" box as soon as they know I'm married. And it's funny how they immediately go "oh but then you don't need these young mother groups" and I'm like, but yes...? I'm still young & pregnant and I still think it's as important for me to be able to meet people the same age with a common life situation, EVEN though I'm married. (So my point right now is that it doesn't really exist being young, pregnant and married for people in this society. It's either young & pregnant or married & pregnant.)
But now with all this off my chest I'll just continue doing my thing and being 19, pregnant AND married. I don't want to be put in a box, no matter if it's because of my pregnancy, age or marriage. I don't want to become a mom thinking I owe people some kind of proof that I'm being a good mother, wether I decide to work or not. And I most surely won't explain myself from people's mom shaming, wether it's about a C-section or later something else. Moms are superwomen. <3